Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The Five Stages of Accepting Myself as a Fat Person

By Valerie X Armstrong

Everything I’ve gone through with my lifelong struggle with my weight reminds me of “The Five Stages of Grief “ by  author Elisabeth Kubler- Ross  in her book, "On Death and Dying"...Here is my version as it pertains to finally coming to terms with being fat:
1. DENIAL-  I will NOT be fat!…I refuse to accept this…I’m going to beat this… I’m going to fight it with everything I’ve got.  It won’t get the best of me.  I’ll get every book on the subject, I’ll seek out the experts, I’ll devote my every waking moment to getting my body the way it “should” be. I’ll starve myself, I’ll exercise until I drop.  I’ve got the will power and the tenacity and I’ll be so thin and gorgeous, I’ll put Barbie to shame.
2.ANGER-  What is wrong with me…I’ve done everything possible to stay thin and the weight keeps coming back…I’m like an air plant!
I can eat practically nothing and I still can’t lose an ounce or even maintain…I was doing so well and now it’s all coming back…None of my cute new clothes fit me.  Why, why, why?  The doctor doesn’t believe me and neither does anyone else…They say I’m cheating on my diet and lying about it.  Even these diet pills don’t work.  I hate myself!
3.BARGAINING- I’ll do anything, God…Please just let me be thin…I’ll never eat again…I’ll run 5 miles a day…I’ll give every cent I own to charity…I’ll go to church twice every Sunday and devote my life to helping others, just please, please, please, let me be thin.
4.DEPRESSION- My life is over…I weigh more than I ever did.  Nothing fits me…People make fun of me…I hate going out of the house…What’s the use of even living if it’s going to be in a hideous fat body like mine?  If I wasn’t scared of dying, I’d kill myself.  Nothing I do helps.  I’ve been dieting all my life and I’m still fat. I am just worthless.
5. ACCEPTANCE-Okay, here’s the deal…I’m fat, and apparently I’m going to stay that way. I’ve done all I possibly could to change myself, but I guess I am genetically programmed to be this way.  If I am going to have any kind of life, I’d better make peace with that fact.  I’m going to embrace my body and look for the good aspects of the situation.  I’m healthy and I’m smart, I am relatively good looking, and a nice person.  Why is being fat such a big deal after all?  I’ll seek out like-minded people and start enjoying myself.  I’ll get new clothes that fit me and I’ll go out and about and not be ashamed of myself because of my size.  I’ve got a lot going for me that lots of thin people don’t have.  I refuse to spend one more minute of my life hating myself…Look out world, here I come.

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